Saturday, February 6, 2010

Party Van PSI (Party Scene Investigation)

Ever so often, The Driver decides to clean the inside of The Party Van. Keeping in mind everything that occurs in The Party Van is a work of art, The Driver carefully selects cleaning intervals. Lets take a look at what remnants have been left by the last couple months of partying. 

This is a good pile! What say we break it down a little.

Food Group: Partying requires a lot of energy, so when purchasing Party snacks focus on carbs and sugars. Here we have a lone Combo. Looks like it was pretzel and cheeze. How does a floor residing Combo become cheezeless and chipped but still hold it's tube shape?  Some things in The Party Van can not be explained.

The pair of Dots are in good shape as well. Perhaps it's the blue green spectrum that is best for surviving stomps, smooshes, and smashes. In case you don't know, a smash is straight down, and a smoosh is down and forward. (leaves kind of a skidmark) I tried to present this blue green theory to Dots, but they have not responded. Please do your own experiments, and let Dots know the results. Send info to: double u double u double u dot Dots dot com. Say that 5 times fast!

Fashion: Someone left behind one of these trendy rubber wristbands. Usually, The Driver thinks these are stupid. The fact that this one is all black, and says nothing makes it a little cooler.

Arsenal: Wacky String is a great thing to have. Many times a Party is at what seems to be the peak, then Wacky String comes along and takes things up a notch or two.
Note: The can proudly states "over 250 feet of safe party fun!!" Let it be known that on one occasion a passenger channeled Thrash Metal through his body, to his fingertip, and got 666 feet out of a single can.

Meds: Here we see what got left behind after a passenger medicated him / her self. I'm sure the result was a massive second wind. 

 Food Group: Beer is a no brainer when it comes to stocking The Party Van. On this cleaning the crack tab was the only evidence of  Beer, but I can assure you it was omnipresent.

Unknown Group: This small red rubber bit was probably a part of a larger red rubber gizmo, which could have been transformed due to any combination of  tearing, exploding, cutting, gnawing, popping, or violent tossing.

Currency: Needless to say, it's a good idea to carry some purchase power when partying. As we see here, someone has lost a little. Probably has to do with the inevitable hazard of being in the human crumple zone / dance floor. Hopefully this was not the majority of their bankroll, and the loss was not a killjoy.

Fashion: You can stop rubbing your eyes, that IS in fact an underwear waistband. As far as I know, this is a first in the history of the world. A passenger had such a great time, his undergarments literally exploded off his body.

Arsenal: Bottle Rockets!! As far as The Party Van is concerned, Bottle Rockets rank right under gas in order of importance. The Party Van recommends Black Cat Silver Fox. Not only do you get the typical blast off and report, but The Silver Fox adds a stream of sparks throughout its journey. 


Ben said...

I think that Combo is from Andrew WK.

PARTY VAN!! said...

Was it you who sucked the cheeze out?